Say What You Need to Say...

Isn't it funny how much your own words can eat you to the absolute core of your very being? There was a few different things throughout my day today that led me to this thought. The first was an e-mail I got from one of my student's parents. I've been getting mass e-mails on a family friend's dad who was recently hospitalized after collapsing at a gym; So I've been getting e-mail updates on his progress. (He's doing great!) In her last e-mail, she said something to this effect: "I just keep thinking about how drastically this week could have turned out. A week ago, my dad was fine, and then - all of this happened. Today could have been my fathers funeral, but instead it's a chance for me to say the things to him that I might not have had things turned out differently."

The next thing(s) were a couple of songs. The first of which, I'll proudly admit to hearing on the country radio station. It was a song that I usually would have switch stations to find something I like a little better. Alan Jackson came on singing "Where Were You", which is a song he wrote about 9/11, about remembering where you were 'when the world stopped turning'. He talks over and over in the song about the abruptness of all of the events that happened that day. Again, I was reminded of how quickly life can be taken from us.

My grandma's roommate at her nursing home died today. She was 93-years-old, and had a hard time remembering the last time her kids had come to visit.

The other song is one of my new favs, by John Mayer: Say What You Need to Say. (Which is currently on repeat on my iTunes as I'm typing.) The essence of this song is explained simply in the title.

With all of that said, I wonder how often I actually say what I need to say. I wonder if the people I love, know that I actually love them. I wonder if the people who I let walk all over me know that I don't stand for it. I wonder if the people who I appreciate have ever heard me say, "thank you."


Some of the lyrics to Mayer's song say this:
'Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.'

Now, I recognize that this opens a lot of doors for people who think that they need to say more than they actually do. I'm not saying that every thought that comes into your head should come out your mouth...In fact, I think we'd all be in a lot of trouble if that was the case. But at the end of the day, are the words that needed to be said actually said? Does he know you love him? Does she know you love her? If it's burning to the depths of your soul, by all means...say what you need to say. While a lot of times (most times) it's hard, I have also come to know the power that is held in vulnerability.

"Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open."

i hope i always say what needs to be said. may the people i love know i love them, and may the people i've hurt know i'm sorry.